


then you can start to make it better

by a_fandom_affliction



Series: you'll do [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Awkward Dates, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Coffee, Coffee date, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Human Castiel, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Overthinking, Pining, dean is scared of coffee, fear of a date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 04:55:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8043370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_fandom_affliction/pseuds/a_fandom_affliction
Summary: Dean's a worrier, and he hates coffee. But he'll try it, just for Cas.





	then you can start to make it better

 

Dean wants to like coffee for Cas.

 

Dean hates coffee. He hates the taste, he hates the smell, he hates the way people get artificially addicted to it, like it’s a trend. People joke about needing coffee to function. It’s stupid until you see them without coffee – then it’s ugly.

 

But for Cas, Dean’s gonna try. He’s obviously tasted coffee, but he’s never sat down and just drunk it. Dean’s going to. Dean’s going to brave the nasty smell and bitter taste and silly stereotypes, just for Cas. Dean isn’t sure why. Maybe he just wants to be great for Cas. Even if that’s not what he wants, they’re just meeting for coffee. Dean’s never met someone for coffee. It’s nothing extraordinary. Nobody meets people for a chai, or an iced tea, or something silly like that. Just coffee. So that’s what Dean’s going to do for his boyfriend. It’s new. It’s exciting.

 

But Dean doesn’t want to start off with illusions or lies. He’s not sure what to think of coffee. A lot of people like it, but a lot of people like smoking, or sniffing crack. It doesn’t make those things healthy. Maybe a lot of people like Cas, too, but Dean’s not really sure what to think of Cas, either. The dude is quiet, and doesn’t say a lot of things without thinking them over, first. Dean doesn’t know what to think of Cas.

 

Is Cas too bitter, too strong? Is Cas unhealthy? Dean wants Cas to be healthy, even if Dean isn’t. Dean wants Cas to be sweet, even if it’s bittersweet. Dean wants to like Cas. He does like Cas. Maybe it’s just the coffee he’s not sure of. All of Dean’s thoughts and feelings are mixed up with the past, and the present, and the smell of coffee in his mind.

 

_ God, Cas, please don’t hate me for not being sure of you. _

 

In a way, it scares Dean, this meeting for coffee. In a way, coffee weirds Dean out. Dean doesn’t want to be one of those people who needs tons of flavors and sweeteners with their coffee. Dean doesn’t want people to look at him with his coffee, and laugh, and say, “You want a little coffee with that cream and sugar?” Of course, though, there should be some sweetness. Life shouldn’t be all hidden and black, like you’re ashamed. If you like coffee, and you want to drink it, then, well, Dean doesn’t have a problem with that. Dean just doesn’t want to feel like a wuss, like a coffee fraud. He doesn’t want people to look at him, and think, “Oh, look at that stupid dude drinking frothy coffee just to impress his boyfriend. How pathetic. That’s just a sad, ridiculous situation to be caught in.”

 

Dean’s an honest person. He isn’t gonna hide the fact that he isn’t sure about coffee. He’ll even tell Cas that he’s trying it just for him. He wants to like it just for Cas.

 

God, he’s gonna throw up.

 

Dean looks down at his lap in the car. He checks his reflection in the side mirror. His hair looks decent - sorta mussy, yet styled – but is it good enough? Should Dean really be wearing this shirt? Is there time to turn around? No, there isn’t. It’ll have to do. It’s almost funny how much better Dean looked in the safety of his room, away from the pressure, the pressure of going out for coffee with Cas. Dean’s nervous. He shifts his feet and rhythmically moves his legs, as he has a habit of doing.

 

Dean wonders, for a moment, if Cas has any nervous habits that Dean hasn’t noticed yet. Does Cas talk with his hands, like Dean? Is Cas as accident-prone as Dean? Oh, God, he’s going to spill the coffee on himself. He can see it coming. Dean takes a deep breath so he won’t forget to. Sometimes he panics, and forgets to breath. Honestly.

 

Dean can almost smell the coffee already. He wonders if Cas will like him as much as he did a week ago, if Cas will be impressed by him. Will Cas find Dean boring? Dean thinks about the way his grammar mysteriously becomes awful when he talks to Cas, and he wonders if he’s going to embarrass himself.

 

Now Dean’s scared to talk at all. Will he be too bitter, too strong? And there’s no time to turn back? No, it’s just coffee. What if Dean hates it? Will Cas hate him? It’s just coffee. Hot, steaming, bittersweet coffee. There’s no turning back.

 

Dean arrives, barely on time, where he promised to meet Cas. To meet Cas for coffee. Dean gets out of the care with a sense of capital-G Growing Up, of being Incredibly Old and Monumentally Young. He’s a silly boy, meeting his boyfriend for coffee.

 

Dean goes inside, trying to put some confidence in his step. He’s telling his legs, “Be strong. Don’t be clumsy, or shy. Be strong. Strong like coffee!”

 

Dean sees Cas, and Cas sees Dean. Cas walks over, and says “Hello, Dean,” in his whisper-wind gravel-road voice. Cas is smiling. Dean’s heart is racing and he’s nervous, he’s scared, oh, he’s so alone, but, God, it’s so great to see Cas smile, to see him at all, to hear his voice, to meet him for coffee. Dean smiles back, and he knows it’s going to be alright.

 

They’re two kids, two nervous, silly, like-minded boys, pushing their way through a common ritual: meeting for coffee. They shake by with all the wrong verbs, and stutter in and out of vibrant, dramatic adjectives. They’re putting color in black and white, and they’re adding flavor with sideways glances. They’re accustomed to this, to the frightening mix of testosterone, caffeine, and words. They’re just young, and the same. It’s just another conversation - Hi, how are you? Good, you? Good. Wonderful. Cream and sugar. They look around them like tourists, like they’ve seen a coffee shop. Dean decides to be natural and confident. Dean decides to be strong.

 

Strong like coffee.

So, Dean looks Cas in the eyes, even though he never looks Cas in the eyes, even though he has self-esteem problems and he’s nervous and he thinks Cas will hate him, even though he wears contacts, and he’s terribly self-conscious. Dean looks right into Cas’s eyes and say the line he’s been writing, rearranging, editing, and rehearsing in his mind the whole way to the shop.

  
“Let’s get some coffee.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think.
> 
> And, as always, thanks for reading!


End file.
